Either say you can’t make it well in advance or keep stumm
As New Year’s Eve looms, I implore you to heed this party etiquette advice. There are only two correct times to decline a party invitation: well in advance or not at all. The last thing any stressed-out host wants to receive, in the moments before their big event begins, is a sudden flood of 11th-hour RSVPs from guests announcing that they’re not coming. And yet, as anyone who regularly organises large parties in Britain knows, that’s exactly what they tend to be sent. It needs to stop.
Having an invitation turned down in advance stings a little, but it is genuinely helpful. It provides a sense of potential turnout to help gauge catering and expectations. A decline on the day, however, is infuriatingly useless. Food and booze will already long since have been ordered, and it’s way too late to invite another friend to make up the numbers.
Phineas Harper is a writer and curator
