A certain image of the tiger mom – strict, cold and demanding – is ubiquitous in popular culture. Why?
In January 2011, the English-speaking world was introduced to a new kind of villain. She arrived in the form of a viral Wall Street Journal article with the headline “Why Chinese mothers are superior”. The author, a relatively unknown Yale law professor named Amy Chua, outlined her strict rules for her two daughters: no sleepovers, playdates or school plays – and no complaining about not being in the school play, either. They were expected to be the top students in all subjects at school (except gym and drama). When her seven-year-old refused to play a song on the piano, Chua threatened her with no lunch, no dinner and no birthday parties for four years until she complied. Another time, after the same daughter misbehaved, Chua branded her “garbage”.
The backlash was swift and vicious. Chua was called an abuser, a stereotype peddler, a shock jock. The article was an extract from her memoir, Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, and Chua did her best to explain that, in the book, she reckons with the limits of her parenting. But it was too late: the controversy had taken on a life of its own. Many Asian American writers responded by sharing their ambivalence or anger about having been raised in this way. “I grew up with a tiger parent and all I got was this lousy psychological trauma” declared one such blog post. Suddenly a ubiquitous but private dynamic was being held up for public debate. There were endless letters, op-eds, blogs, tweets, Facebook posts. My grandparents in China, who are as removed from the American commentariat as one could possibly be, asked me about the American lady boasting about getting her kids into Harvard and giving Chinese people a bad name.
