Does your brother-in-law remind you of someone else in your past? Or is the problem your changed relationship with your sister? Working that out could reduce your annoyance
• Every week Annalisa Barbieri addresses a problem sent in by a reader
I love my sister. But I can’t stand her husband. He is an idiot who thinks he is better than other people and talks down to them. I am a man in my 50s and I used to visit my sister a lot, but now I would rather do something else. I try to hide it, but it must be clear I am not keen on him. They have been married for eight years and things are getting worse; he used to work and contribute, but now he doesn’t even do that. What can I do? I want to support my sister while spending as little time as possible with her husband.
This happens in lots of families, unfortunately. Unless one’s parents split and remarry, it’s usually only when siblings partner up that a new person (a stranger!) is brought into the family and the dynamics change. We all wish these new additions bring joy and harmony, but sadly often they do not. And then we’re not only saddled with a person we don’t like, who is now part of the family, but we’re left looking at the person who brought them in and thinking, “Really?” This can lead to all manner of unravelling of childhood feelings when it’s a sibling.
